What Happened…

So last year I was on a mission to be better and do more and get stuff done. I can say that for a little while there, I was going strong.

What happened?

Right after my last post, like literally a few hours after the post, I got a crushing phone call. The call I dreaded more than anything else…

My grandma, my best friend, my second mom…she was gone.

I knew she hadn’t been doing well, especially after grandpa passing, but I wasn’t ready for her to leave so soon after.

That literally broke me. I am still (almost a year and a half later) recovering and processing. So that’s what happened. That’s why my posts just…STOPPED.

I had so many things planned. Reviews, stories, photos…just so much. And it all just went to hell.

I have finally managed to pull myself out of this hole with the help of some amazing friends and family, and with the help of my therapist. I’m doing my best to take steps forward and do my best to get back on the road to being me.

That being said, I have made some HUGE changes in my life and I am excited to start sharing some of them here.

I revived my YouTube channel. I have been hard at work on a project with my band for our YouTube channel as well as planning upcoming shows, I began streaming on Twitch and hit affiliate within 2.5 weeks of starting, I have managed to find inspiration t get back into photography and potentially modeling…and there’s just so much more that I’m so proud of.

It has been a ridiculous year and a half since I wrote last, and I promise that this time I will do my best to stay consistent (considering I’m working on a million things right now).

Next post will go into more detail about the YouTube stuff and the band stuff and the Twitch stuff annnnd I’ll be posting some newer photos at some point too. For now, I just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here, just trying to put my pieces back together yet again.

 

Love you guys!

 

xx

 

Tired Yet Awake

It’s been forever since I’ve even made a genuine attempt at writing anything. I know I need to update this site and make a lot of modifications, but that can wait. Right now, I’m just more concerned about getting back into the swing of things. I’m exhausted and it’s 3:27am, yet my anxiety has been ridiculous lately and sleeping at night has been near impossible. So here I am, rambling. I have so many plans for stuff to do, but I have been so fucked physically and mentally that I just can’t bring myself to get anything done. I’m working on planning a small DJ tour hopefully towards the end of the year. Also planning on moving again in the next year as well as a much needed trip to Thailand with my love. I’m working my ass off on trying to get some video game streaming stuff up on YouTube and hopefully livestreaming on Twitch in the near future. 

Since being more open about being trans, I have found it insanely difficult to continue my work in the adult industry (at least for the time being) and I will be making a lot of changes when it comes to the old paysite. I will definitely be doing more modeling in the future, but it will probably be a little while. Unfortunately other than the current state of being uncomfortable with my body, I have gained a lot of weight due to health problems, and just don’t feel comfortable with myself at all right now. Mostly, I’ve just been sticking to selfies on Instagram and promoting vape stuff as a main focus. 

I know I have changed a lot over the last couple years, and a lot of it hasn’t really made me happy. I want to go back to being the old me, but until I can get my health and my mental issues straightened out, I’ll be doing things a little differently.

When my plans for the future are more concrete, I’ll make sure to actually post updates here. I really have been wanting to get off my ass and write about a lot of stuff lately, but I just really haven’t found the motivation. 

I’m making it a point to be more consistent with updates over the coming weeks so I can get back on track to being able to be happier with myself. 

I really don’t know what else to say.

I may start writing more about my illnesses, daily struggles, my transition, and other stuff I tend to avoid going into detail about. 

For now, I’m going to try to get some sleep.
XX

Lazy

I really need to update this thing. My damn bio says I still live in San Francisco smfh
Either way, I’ll get around to it soon.

I have a lot of stuff in the works right now! Keep checking in for more updates!

New site is now live!

Check it out HERE!

Updates…Part 1

Where to start…

Since 2012, I have moved back to LA, visited an old friend in West Virginia, traveled to Germany, DJed in Germany, started a new music project with a man I’ve had a huge crush on for years, ended up in relationship with said man, married said man, and have moved to West Virginia. I will go into more detail on all those things, but I figured I would at least get all that out there. 

I have also finally gotten back into modeling and am back to doing the cam slut/porn thing…I will provide links in another post.

This is the first of many posts chronicling the past couple years. I will provide links, photos, and all kinds of other goodies soon…I’m just dealing with so much stuff right now that it’s hard to keep track of everything I need to update. 
Come follow me @raydensaintsinn on Twitter for frequent updates and randomness

I’ll get back to updating more super soon, promise I will.
xxSINN